So, I should be getting my internet this week sometime (sound familiar?). I don’t know if the engineer will bother turning up this time, but I hope so.
I always knew that the internet was vital to my life, but I hadn’t realised just how much until now. The blog is a small part of it, but becoming more important. But it is things like my VoIP phone, contacting friends and family, emails, my websites, entertainment.
Pretty much everything I do involves the internet in some way. This past few weeks has been like losing an arm. Sad but true.
I am not the most social person some times, I know that. I lock myself away in my apartment quite often and only surface if invited. I enjoy watching the football and having a couple of beers. I enjoy going out and getting wrecked sometimes, but more often than not I would rather be at home.
Since splitting from Sarah, I haven’t been able to retreat to the sanctity of the apartment completely, as my online life isn’t available to me. I think it is causing me to become more stressed and (god forbid) more insular. I have no interest in relationships, a lack of interest in socialising and things at work are causing more stress for me than they realistically should. I am pretty sure that this is directly attributable to the fact that I don’t have my normal outlet for entertainment and relaxation.
I am rapidly running out of shows to watch that I downloaded before I left the old apartment, the money I was expecting to send to Sarah and the kids from the apartment deposit, doesn’t look like it will end up in my pocket. A number of things at work are really aggravating me to the point of distraction and if I have to use the shitty PCs at the internet cafe much more I will probably go postal.
Still, it’s not all bad. I have formed a bond with my cats !?! You see on films the crazy cat lady – I am well on my way to being crazy cat guy. I talk to them ffs, regularly, I even ask questions and am more than a little surprised when they offer nothing beyond a purr.
Dammit T-Com, don’t you see what you are doing to me here?
On the plus side, the stress (self inflicted or otherwise) has allowed me to lose some weight….which is nice. I am kind of able to satiate my net needs at work and the internet cafe, but I kind of feel like the lead character of Moonlight. A vampire that survives on pre-packed blood instead of the fresh stuff. Sure, he can survive on it, but when he is out in the desert and needs to feed, it is a bit shit to miss out on the good stuff….
Where am I going with this post? I have no idea…and neither will anyone reading this. I can’t even dredge any humour out of the situation at the moment.
Sorry internet, I am sure I will be ecstatic and mildly humourous when you return to me….hopefully this week.