So, with some of the stories you have read on here, and certainly for some people that know me…you may think me to be a reasonably confident individual in all situations.
Not so, I have never been confident with public speaking or speaking with the ladies.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have managed to overcome these things to a degree, but I become rooted to the spot, I get very hot and my throat gets dry. It’s weird, I find it a lot easier to overcome this deficiency at work than I do in my personal life.
For example, in my job I am regularly called upon to give presentations or training or take meetings etc…Inside I am going mental, but normally manage to overcome it and do a good job. Outside of work, the fear washes over me and I struggle.
Now, you put me in a situation with friends in an informal setting and I can hold my own at the center of any conversation. You stick me on a stage with the EXACT same group of people in front of me and I freeze.
Which is why my wedding speech consisted of almost passing out before it was due, trying to put it off as “Everyone is enjoying themselves”, an inability to eat and possibly too much beer. Culminating in my award winning “Thanks for coming….Lets get pissed” speech. Yes, I am proud of that myself
I don’t know what it is that makes people confident or not. When put in a pressure situation, or if I am pissed off…no problem. I guess that is down to distracting myself from what is actually happening.
Now in the past, with the ladies….I have had to find other methods that overcome this hideous fear of rejection. Including trying to employ a small measure of psychology, which surprised me by being reasonably successful when I was a lad. Of course, back then I didn’t have the Uncle Fester thing going on and was fairly popular anyway…so it could have just been that I guess Still, I put it down to my amazing techniques….and I would share them with you now, but I probably couldn’t handle the ridicule, plus if any of you tried them and failed you would no doubt seek me out and beat me for spreading misinformation and humiliation.
Of course, confidence can kick you in the arse too, and by that I am obviously referring to over-confidence. We get a lot of it at work, NNES (Non-Native English Speakers) that have been working in English for years feel confident in correcting my documentation and have actually argued with me on the correct useage of English words. I wouldn’t mind if they were occasionally right, but having to find a dictionary or real life example to demonstrate that I am correct is beyond belief. I can’t give specific example…or I would have to kill you, or make this thing self-destruct at least……and frankly it had enough of that a few weeks back.
Speaking of over confidence, especially in ones own ability – Have you seen Britains Got Talent, X-Factor, Big Brother or any of these type of reality shows. It may even go back to my last post…how can parents seriously encourage some of these people. They can’t seriously believe that this…
…is talented? Unless the talent is to induce vomiting and blood loss through the ears as some sort of WMD for future wars. Somebody somewhere must have helped this delusion along. Ok, I will admit, if I had been involved in the “development” of this “talent”, I would have been evil and twisted enough to want to get them on a show like this for a laugh.
Maybe this is where my confidence could be best used, whilst the police and armed forces are looking for
chemical weapons and nukes, I could smuggle William Hung into any country and hold them to ransom….
Pay me 50,000,000 immediately or he starts singing