Am I lying to myself?

So, I have been living in Frankfurt for over 2 years. Before that I had been wanting to live in Germany since…..well since I was living here as a kid.

I always maintain that I don’t miss anything from the UK, except maybe bacon, malt vinegar and a decent white sliced loaf of bread. It doesn’t bother me that 99% of all crisps are paprika flavoured, that you can only buy milk in 1 liter cartons, that fruit and veg tend to spoil with a day of purchase and that German shops tend to treat you as if you should be grateful they allow you in there.   I prefer the meat here, except how expensive lamb is, and the beer pretty much makes up for any downside you can imagine.

No no, put down that Heineken-faux-brewed down the M25-crap in a can that you believe to be the essence of a German beer. Ignore your “pint” and head over for a visit and have a nice half liter of the nectar of the gods that is German beer. Until you do that, you will never fully understand why you get chemically induced hangovers and a desperate need to pee every second sip with the English varieties.

So with all that in mind why, when Lidl decided to have a British week (apparently in an effort to remind us that we are NOT in Euro 2008), did I go out and blow 50 euros on Steak pies, Salt n Vinegar chipsticks, pub style scampi, cod portions, cheddar cheese, bramley apple pies and caramel shortbreads???

I wouldn’t have eaten most of that in the UK. Damn you mind, damn you to hell….I will have my rewengey by drinking copious amounts of German beer and eating more pork based products than you can shake a pork based stick at this weekend.

Then, in a drunken stupour, I will probably eat a steak pie, some scampi and roast potatoes….all covered in mint sauce and Branston pickle.

Damnit.

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