Holy crapola. I couldn’t sleep last night, so decided to watch a film. Lets pretend it was a cinema showing of a new(ish) film called “Beyond the ring” starring Andre Lima as himself. I “went to the cinema” to watch this film, as I saw a clip and it looked like it had some pretty good martial arts action in it……Clips can be deceptive, that’s all I’m saying.
First of all, the soundtrack would have been rejected by the people that brought you “The Karate Kid” as being too cheesy. The acting was more wooden than Pinnochios sex doll and the direction/cinematography reminded me of when my 5 year old got a hold of the video camera a couple of years ago.
I think I can sum it up though… It started badly, tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the ending the better. Other than that it was excellent.
I know it is based on “True Events”, but not every hard luck story can be a great film…especially when you put someone who clearly has never acted before…in a movie of people that have never acted….along with a director that has never directed and cameramen that have never camera’d(?). Add to that the fact that only about 10 minutes in the entire film had any martial arts action and you get where I am coming from. Put it this way, it made AWOL look like an Oscar winning film with Jean Claude Van Damme getting the award for best actor. It was THAT bad…
Now, I have watched some shite in my time…Natural Born Killers didn’t even make it halfway through before it got switched off and the only reason I watched the Event Horizon to the end was because we had bought tickets to another film immediately afterwards and it was pissing down outside. I watched the massively over-hyped Superbad and can only agree with the title decision. But nothing has managed to top this film. It seriously looks like it was made as a straight to TV film in the late 80s. I can’t even force myself to place this into the “So bad it’s good” category. It’s just that bad.
If you don’t believe me, watch it yourself…just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Come on, name the worst film you have seen…