So another day, another passworded post.   I was going to remove the last one, and in fact I did for a short while.   But then I thought, screw it…noone can read it so it doesn’t matter.   Then I went through some stuff last night and lo and behold…another one pops out this morning.

Feelings are strange things aren’t they?   They totally screw with your mind and often the minds of those around you that you care about.   When it’s the latter, it is often too late when you realise what you are doing.

I have been quite selfish for some time…could be that I needed to be, but when realisation hits and things are too late to deal with, I wish I had stayed how I was…ignorant and avoiding admittance.

Now I feel zoned out and in limbo.   Nothing seems to be moving and with how tired I am at the moment, I just want to sleep.   I apologise if this is a bit of a depressing post, but as I have said before, my blog my rules.

Did you ever sit down and reflect on yourself over the last few years and actually be able to spot where things should have been done differently?   I know I have and I am left with feelings of regret and an uneasiness I am not used to.

20/20 hindsight is wonderful, but completely useless I guess.

Now I have to try and look forward and to be honest, I just don’t know if I have the energy… or desire… to bother.

All I would say is, think, think long and hard about your decisions before you make them.   They almost certainly will come back and bite you in the arse at some point, and you have to be prepared to live with them and sleep at night…something I have failed to do for the last 2 nights running.

I don’t think you can make it through life without some regrets…just try everything you can to make them small and trivial.

That’s what I will aim for from now on….if possible anyway.


2 thoughts on “Feelings

  1. I honestly can’t know what’s been burning you since you seem to be able to keep your personal life away from your colleagues and have them all convinced that things are going great Smile

    Cheer up! Read some Epicurus and don’t always strive for more. Grin

  2. Didn’t even spot this comment….

    At least I am able to maintain my professional persona to a degree then…that’s something I guess Wink

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