Once again, another passworded post. I feel like Bruce Willis’s character in friends, now I have opened up…I can’t bloody well stop. Ah well, at least making them passworded allows me to retain a small amount of dignity
Over the years, we all hear things that are beyond belief stupid. They make no sense, but we accept them as normal and proper.
Where did you lose it?
This one is particular genius and normally first introduced to you by your parents. If it was “Where was the last place you remember having it?”, that could work…but let’s be honest here…if I knew where I lost it….IT WOULDN’T BE FUCKING LOST NOW WOULD IT?
Do you want a smack?
Like the answer will be yes….well, certain types of people in certain “goth’esque” situations may be inclined to say yes, but not many.
Stop crying before I give you something to cry about
This one has been used and will continue to be used for many many years to come. As a parent, I have said it..as a child it was said to me.
It. Makes. No. Sense.
If the wind changes you will look like that forever
My parents and my grandparents used to use this one if I ever pulled a funny face…oh..wait…they were right…damnit.
Are you ok?
Not normally a bad thing, but seems to be an almost tourettes based response in certain situations. A bit like the uncontrollable urge to ask a taxi driver if he has been busy, if you see someone you know in a Doctors surgery or hospital…you are guaranteed to ask them if they are ok.
It could be worse
Normally said to you after some personal tragedy has befallen you. Let’s face it, at the point that someone says this to you….it could be bloody better!
I can’t read my own hand-writing
Seriously? How do you know it’s your handwriting then?
Tell me in your own words
What? You think I have my own words…that I have spent time inventing a language of my very own. Who the hell would I speak to, and if I had, how would you know what I was saying?
If it tasted nice, it wouldn’t be doing you any good or If it didn’t hurt, it wouldn’t be doing you any good…
Who comes up with this crap? Why does medication have to taste like shit, we pay enough for it these days for them to make it in a variety of flavours. And who decided on child proof screw tops? I know loads of people that actually need their child to open the bloody bottle for them. Even worse is why things that are designed to make things better, hurt like hell. Surely with the technology advances available to us these days…..
And of course the all time favourite of blokes everywhere….
If you don’t know what you have done, then there is no point telling you…..’Nuff said