So it looks like there is a possibility I will be in England for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my folks. It goes without saying that I will do my damndest to get to see the kids at the same time, and I am sure I will manage to achieve it. That said, it will be Christmas with the parents, and I am the son that lives furthest away….
Now, being the oldest of 3 boys means that certain expectations are placed on you to be responsible, level headed and able to look after yourself (and your brothers). Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t spoiled and went without….far far from it. I have mentioned before that I had a great childhood and wouldn’t change it for the world. However, I didn’t always get the option for certain things..the options were normally delivered to the younger brethren before me. Where the hell am I going with this?? Oh yeah, eldest son..far away…got it.
As it is now a rarity to see me, I am pretty much a shoe in to get the option of a special thing to be prepared. This is guaranteed to be my Mums very special and never matched…Devils Food Cake. It should be said that, despite my ample girth (and my belly ) I am not really a chocolate lover. However, when you have tried some of my Mums Devils Food Cake, you could easily become a chocaholic…instantly…followed rapidly by a chocolate induced coma…with possible drowning by double cream.
It is one of “those” recipes… in that it is a closely guarded secret, has changed over time and consists of a plastic wallet with random pieces of paper..it sort of resembles a kidnappers ransom note starter pack and would probably have reduced the guys that cracked the Enigma device to tears trying to recreate it. I was given the recipe, once…and subsequently lost it in the great hard disk crash of ’01. Subsequent attempts to gain access have been futile, so I am left with the rare occasion when I can ask for this creation of the gods to be made for me. Serious pleasure is all I am saying.
All of my 35 years on this planet will count for nothing when I regress into a mewling babe whislt simultaneously begging my Mum to make me this cake… I may ask for two to be made…specifically so I can have one with “Daves…keep off” iced on.
Now, I just need to work on getting Mum to make me a chilli and a lasagne, and I may weep a little. It’s pretty pathetic really, but I am just about to embark on a new diet…and it is one of those 4 days on 3 days off things…I worked out my optimum start day to ensure that the 3 off falls outside of 2 events. The first is the visit of my Dad next month, and the second being Christmas at my folks place. The logistics of doing this should really be added to my CV…creative accounting, time management…political lies…it has it all, but all things considered…I will be drinking with my Dad quite merrily next month without feeling even the least bit guilty and then eating my bodyweight in Devils Food Cake at Christmas guilt free too.
Don’t get me wrong, I know all of you (well most of you….some of you at least) believe that your Mums cooking is better than anybody elses Mums cooking and you will never be swayed by any argument that anyone would care to make. This is fine, but there is a difference…you are all wrong! It’s a subtle difference I know, but an important one nevertheless.
I am quite looking forward to it now
What is you favourite (albeit inferior to mine) Mums cooking that you would regress to your childhood for?