So, let me recap a day that happened to me very recently.

Woke up at 03:50..and when I say woke up what I really mean is that I got out of bed and put the kettle on, lit a cigarette and started checking my email.

At 04:10 I realise that it is 04:10 and try to head to bed and notice that my “Furniture Finder” is working perfectly (my shin connects with almost everything on the way back to bed).

04:14, getting into bed I realise that I have left the light on.

04:15, Getting back out of bad, I catch the back of my leg on the corner of the bed and gouge a huge cut.

04:15 – 04:20, cleaning my near fatal fleshwound.

04:22, gingerly climb back into bed…screw the light, it can stay on and stop me amputating something on the way back to bed.

04:25, heading into blissful slumber

04:35, cats decide to fight each other….on my bed.

04:45, give up and get out of bed.   Finish making the coffee I started at 03:50

05:00, watch Top Gear from Sunday night

06:00, start getting ready for work, shower, shave, iron clothes..more coffee etc

07:00, head to work

07:05, get to tram stop..realise that wallet is at home, head home

07:12, get back to tram stop, just in time to watch tram leaving

07:20, get on next tram

07:30, see tube pulling away and prepare for short wait on platform for the next tube

07:32, new train arriving (I love Germany)…spot worlds most boring individual heading my way

07:37 (feels like 17:37 though), depart tube and try and get away from boring individual and head into office

07:40, pour coffee all over my tie and a little bit on my shirt…head to bathroom to try and clean before it dries

07:45, complete with wet marks all over shirt and tie….check emails.

08:00, head down for smoke and coffee…drop coffee, burn hand with cigarette

08:30, back to office – Start work

08:45, check to confirm I have no meetings…discover I am late for one and am in them all day

12:15, late for lunch, manage to grab something before heading to office for next meeting

17:15, finish meetings for the day

17:30, leave and head home.

17:45, car splashes huge mud puddle all over me

18:00, home to discover cats have ripped open the bin bag I forgot to take downstairs this morning

18:10, internet is not working, reset all boxes, router doesn’t switch back on

18:11-18:15, weep a little

18:16, router springs back to life, stop weeping

18:20, pour coffee

18:22, throw away coffee made from ice cold water…boil kettle..realise I have no cigarettes…go out to shop

Not the best day I have ever had….I must have been a complete arsehole in a previous life to deserve that one.

Karma is a bastard

Still, it could only have been worse if I couldn’t sleep that night….

….arse!