So, let me recap a day that happened to me very recently.
Woke up at 03:50..and when I say woke up what I really mean is that I got out of bed and put the kettle on, lit a cigarette and started checking my email.
At 04:10 I realise that it is 04:10 and try to head to bed and notice that my “Furniture Finder” is working perfectly (my shin connects with almost everything on the way back to bed).
04:14, getting into bed I realise that I have left the light on.
04:15, Getting back out of bad, I catch the back of my leg on the corner of the bed and gouge a huge cut.
04:15 – 04:20, cleaning my near fatal fleshwound.
04:22, gingerly climb back into bed…screw the light, it can stay on and stop me amputating something on the way back to bed.
04:25, heading into blissful slumber
04:35, cats decide to fight each other….on my bed.
04:45, give up and get out of bed. Finish making the coffee I started at 03:50
05:00, watch Top Gear from Sunday night
06:00, start getting ready for work, shower, shave, iron clothes..more coffee etc
07:00, head to work
07:05, get to tram stop..realise that wallet is at home, head home
07:12, get back to tram stop, just in time to watch tram leaving
07:20, get on next tram
07:30, see tube pulling away and prepare for short wait on platform for the next tube
07:32, new train arriving (I love Germany)…spot worlds most boring individual heading my way
07:37 (feels like 17:37 though), depart tube and try and get away from boring individual and head into office
07:40, pour coffee all over my tie and a little bit on my shirt…head to bathroom to try and clean before it dries
07:45, complete with wet marks all over shirt and tie….check emails.
08:00, head down for smoke and coffee…drop coffee, burn hand with cigarette
08:30, back to office – Start work
08:45, check to confirm I have no meetings…discover I am late for one and am in them all day
12:15, late for lunch, manage to grab something before heading to office for next meeting
17:15, finish meetings for the day
17:30, leave and head home.
17:45, car splashes huge mud puddle all over me
18:00, home to discover cats have ripped open the bin bag I forgot to take downstairs this morning
18:10, internet is not working, reset all boxes, router doesn’t switch back on
18:11-18:15, weep a little
18:16, router springs back to life, stop weeping
18:20, pour coffee
18:22, throw away coffee made from ice cold water…boil kettle..realise I have no cigarettes…go out to shop
Not the best day I have ever had….I must have been a complete arsehole in a previous life to deserve that one.
Karma is a bastard
Still, it could only have been worse if I couldn’t sleep that night….
….arse!
I’d have drunk it.
I know…I drank a cup of Greek coffee once ;-)
Touche sir
OK, you win bad day contest.
Maybe you should stop drinking coffee. Sounds like it’s trying to kill you by slowly scalding your skin off inch by inch.
The problem with that is sheer addiction. I am genuinely concerned that if someone were to switch my coffee for a decaf, I would slip into a coma
Sad but true