I have a question though, escalators are stairs that move, right? So why, when they aren’t moving (which, by definition, just makes them…well… stairs), do people look like bambi on ice when they try and walk up them. I am fortunate in that, with my 2 remaining braincells, I can work out to just take the normal stairs….that are right next to the escalator. Do these people think that the escalator with the STOP sign lit up will magically start moving as soon as they set foot on it? Are they in some sort of trance like state that forces them to perform that same little jig that they do to moving escalators…you know, the one that you hope stops you from falling over but actually makes you look like the worlds most indecisive triple jumper.
Also, in the UK, trains are not reknowned for being on time all that often…so when a train finally pulls up, the whole station seems to want to get on it. I can understand that as, let’s face it, you seriously don’t know when the next one will actually show up. However, here in Germany a late train is anything over 2 minutes late…and they run ALL of the time. A quick glance at the arrivals board the other day showed that the next 3 trains were coming no more than 4 minutes apart…and that continues all day. So with that in mind, why did I find myself faceplanted into the window opposite the open door by an influx of people so severe…I thought that someone had announced a 99% off shoe sale at an expensive ladies shoe shop. People were so close that I would normally expect that they buy me dinner…or at least provide some lube. On top of that, my face was pressed up against a sign that announces the seating/standing limit for the carriage, which is clearly not set with any sense of reality…who the hell enforces these things anyway…I feel violated and dirty. Alternatively, I could have wandered into a Guinness World Record attempt…I have been distracted somewhat after all.
Anyhoo…back to my week of distraction….to say that I have had the most amazing week is something of an understatement. I normally blog when I see something that just grabs me…or reminds me of things that have happened in the past…but what happens when someone is happy and has pretty much lost his cynicism as a result…..no posts for a while is what. Sorry 3 people…
Actually, that should probably just be sorry MH…seeing as he has been putting all the pressure on me to write something. So what could have distracted me and been so amazing? Well, you may have read my last post about running the gauntlet of dental pain, that was fixed finally with a 3rd root canal to permanently fill the tooth.
I am no longer scared of the dentist and frankly just waltzed into the place pointing and winking at people in a Fonz’esque manner, jumped into the chair, threw my head back with my mouth open and said “Screw the anaesthetic, let’s do this shizzle”. Ok, so maybe I wasn’t quite so relaxed about it, but for me it was pretty good. Cue four hours slightly upside down with a dental assistant trying to help the dentist by being so close I thought she was looking for somewhere to sit in there.
I must confess to one moment of sheer bowel emptying terror though…picture the scene; I have had my mouth open for almost 2 hours, the dentists hands in there for most of that time and a dental assistant so close that I didn’t know if I should enjoy it or sue for sexual harrassment… Something is said in German, I don’t recognise these strange alien words of which they form. I do however recognise a propane torch being fired up in front of my eyes and close enough to feel the heat…Fonz’esque Dave exits stage left, to be replaced by shaking like a shitting dog’esque Dave as panic sets in. The dentist then starts heating up an instrument with the torch and I am desperately trying to dislocate my jaw to ensure this thing doesn’t touch anything that had not been numbed. Relaxing eh
After 2 and a half hours, the dentist tells me that they can now begin to fix my nasty front teeth…which they do…really well…to my utter amazement, and I get the hell out of there after a mere 4 hours….and I haven’t stopped smiling since, although that isn’t entirely to do with the teeth….
The day after the dentist, I get my new phone from my brother in the mail, a spangly N95, which is a frickin’ great phone with a ridiculously loud set of speakers, as MH and NB discovered to their near heart failure when my text message alert sounded, to that memorable scene from “A Few Good Men” where Cruise and Nicholson are ranting at each other about answers and truth in the court room. Also, I couldn’t possibly confirm that, this morning, with the phone on silent and in my pocket….whilst I was in the little boys room….that I discovered that my phone was not in fact on silent, but may in fact have been on Outdoor…when the phone rang and it was probably the best location to be in…as I pretty much shi….nah, will leave it there
As you can see…quite a hectic and distracting week right? No you say? Fair enough, I can’t lie to you internet so I will tell you the rest…I met CW a few weeks ago in the bar and we hit it off, although, as it usually does for me, I thought I had just made another good friend. Which was nice in itself. Then we started chatting on Facebook for a while, which progressed to phonecalls..but still, all very friendly. Then came IPs schoolgirl/boy themed party and, along with lots of others, CW came in costume. We were getting on great and then it happened…the first kiss (but not in the pet food section), and thus began the nicest week of distraction I can remember. Neither of us knows where it is/could be going and we are just enjoying spending time together..but I have to say, I already know that that I want to know more and for the first time in a year, I am happy it isn’t just a one night stand.
I will probably be writing about CW more in the near future…but I have rambled enough for one post
How was your week??