…. as Huey Lewis and the News once sang.
I have been spotting a disturbing trend around Frankfurt recently from a certain group of people. Well, I say recently, but in reality I just kept forgetting about it…you know, how the mind blocks out traumatic events to protect our fragile little minds.
Basically, teenagers of a certain decent in Frankfurt seem to be modelling themselves on a combination of Robert Smith/B52 Girls hair styles (the Girls), MC Hammer trousers (the girls) and Chris Isaak mullets (the guys). Additional styles include Skinny drainpipe jeans (the guys) and black jackets with the sleeves rolled up (the guys). Of course, I couldn’t forget the fact that the jeans will be black, slightly too short and will be finished off with white socks and black shoes.
It is like something out of Don’t mess with the Zohan…honestly, either that or from some hip, cool and groovy pop video circa 1983. Actually, the guys with the black jackets look like a sort of Gothic Miami Vice…
The guys will invariably have half a ton of Brylcream in their hair and bum fluff mustaches, whereas the women will be wearing some spangly faux gold/diamond pair of shoes that give you an epileptic fit whenever they start walking. Oh, and bum fluff mustaches.
They will all be wandering aimlessly and normally near/around the local internet cafe. If found on trams/tubes they will be listening to music (probably 2 Unlimited) by utilising their mobile phone as a stereo…shit music being played through a single shit speaker. Based on their look, I can only feel blessed that we aren’t forced to listen to the MIDI version, as you can almost reasonably expect their phones to be as dated as their look.
If they were in England, they would be wearing Burberry clothing, drinking 20-20 behind the school bikesheds and smoking Lambert and Butler cigs. They would live on a council estate and drive around in a Mk.1 Fiesta (1.1 poplar) with a wooden spoiler hoisted on the back that was made out of wooden pallets. In short, these people are Germanys very own Chavs.
In the spirit of education, I present to you two classic music videos that really captures the essence of the Chav. Enjoy first, “In Me Burberry”:-
And now the classic “Chavhemian Rhapsody”
I’ll be the one getting his head kicked in outside the kebab shop later…