Artful Dodgers?

please sir, may i have some more...Since I  have been in the UK visiting the kids, my Mum has a bit of a morning routine before work, which culminates in watching a show called “Saints and Scroungers”.   Now that my Mum and Dad have gone on holiday, I have found myself watching it too.   It’s a show dedicated to people that genuinely need financial help from the government, and those who are basically stealing from it.

It never ceases to amaze me what people will do if there is a chance of a bit of extra cash.   There was a guy who had an accident at work, which resulted in him having a bad back (a recurring theme)..he filled out every claim he was (theoretically) entitled to, stating that it was a struggle to walk and get around etc.   The government duly paid all of his claims on a weekly/monthly basis and the poor soul was happy to be able to live his life.   One anonymous tipoff later, and the fraudulent claims department were investigating.   It’s all a bit cloak and dagger, but they are allowed to run surveillance, and when they gather enough evidence, have unrestricted access to bank and tax records, and in some cases can search the home of the person under investigation.   It turns out that this idiot, whilst claiming he could barely walk, was a FIFA qualified football referee (getting paid) and was a marathon runner…..A MARATHON RUNNER!   He had his name in the papers, had ran for a number of high profile charities…he had even allowed himself to be interviewed for local news FFS!   Now, I have never claimed a benefit in my life that I wasn’t entitled to..so I guess I could take the moral high ground here and give this guy a proper slagging for being a thief and scum etc etc etc….I won’t though…what I will do is call him a moron.   A cretin of the highest order that should be removed from the gene pool for pollution.   As it stands, he got 2 years in prison and has to pay back ?100,000.

I am not condoning scamming the system but, if I were so inclined, I would damn well make sure that I wasn’t claiming disability benefit if I was…oh I don’t know…say…RUNNING 5 MILES EVERY DAY TO STAY IN SHAPE….you know, just to use a random example that popped into my head.   Dear god, I am surprised he didn’t apply for a job with the Fraudulent Claims Department…whilst still claiming..it would have been less obvious than being on the news.  

 The other one that stands out is actually pretty scary.   Picture the scene, Chavvy Grannie and Chavvy Grandad are wandering around…they look like standard British pensioners that don’t have a lot of cash.   They go up the high street of a morning, buy the paper, have a cup of tea at the local cafe…and then wend their merry way back home.   Nothing unusual there right?   Wrong…it turns out that Chavvy Granny and Grampy are identify fraudsters…and have around 80 claims in different names that they are collecting money on regularly, and another 140 that they claim on from time to time.   They are pulling in ?250,000 a year from this and have been running it for 4 years.   A million quid!!!!   Let’s look at them again.   Check out Chavvy Granny, sporting the latest teacosy on the head, weathered brown swede jacket and trousers from Oxfam.   Chavvy Grandad is on the high street catwalk in fashions that you, dear reader, can achieve at very modest prices….grandad shirt from Primark, brown button up cardigan from…well…the 1950’s and a pair of your very finest corduroy house slippers.   Definitely a couple of millionaires living it up.

They raided their house and they found very well ordered files and storage, detailing each and every identity.   Basically, they went through old papers for people that died in the 60’s and information from family members that had emigrated around the same time…applied for birth certificates to be sent and started using their identities.   Pretty clever, even keeping a low profile was clever…that said, getting a million quid and staying in the country…moronic in the extreme.   So, not only did they not spend any of the (substantial amounts) money that they scammed….they get to spend the next 5 years in jail for their trouble aswell as having to pay it all back.

With that amount of money, they could have been living in another country and flying in every week or so to collect…at least then they could have gone somewhere posh for their clothes for once..like TK Maxx for example.

So, I don’t know about you but, I am going to start training for the marathon, take up one-legged polka dancing, learn to kill a man using only my little toe and start filling out the paperwork immediately..using names created by this.   I should be a millionaire in a few weeks.

This is Nat Smurfling, signing out

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