Searching for answers

SHIT HAPPENS
Photo by defekto
Ok, so I have done search terms posts before, and this one will not be massively different…. I am still getting a lot of the regulars but some of the following searches are just freaky.   Here are some of my faves, in no particular order:

royal robbins cardiff espresso 10 short OR 32

An interesting one to start, although I am not entirely sure what to say about this.   I wasn’t aware of the Welsh peoples Italian heritage and therefore desire to produce espresso.   The Welsh are indeed short, although why you would require 10 OR 32 I really don’t know.   I guess the most important question is; How the hell did you get onto my blog with this search?

dog person   big dog person smole dog person, cat person, hamster person

Where to start?   Dog person…I get it, Cat person is also fairly standard.   I don’t believe I have ever known anyone to be pigeon-holed (not a euphimism) as a Hamster person before.   I think that has to be a first.   Big Dog person??   Doesn’t that, and be honest now, fall under the…oh I don’t know…DOG person category??   I have an issue with Smole though…are you the guy that used to play the French policeman in Allo Allo?   Will you be shortly “Pissing by ze window” and “Hearing two shits”?   No…hmm, then maybe you simply can’t spell SMALL….please pay attention.   Of course, based on the hamster reference, there is every chance you believe there to be a Mole person and in your excitement of the pursuit of knowledge..your fingers mashed the S key first.   We may never know.

tin of elbow grease striped paint

You know what you have done here?   You have taken a classic set of jokes and overreached.   Quite possibly, you have forever ruined these harmless japes for the rest of the world.   Let me be the first to say….I. Hate. You.

what had you done in september 11

This could simply be a person looking back on a terrible event, maybe as research for a school project or something similar.   That said, Mr Bush…if the combined might of the US intelligence services couldn’t turn anything up…do you really think a Google search will offer more?   Oh…you do…umm, carry on then…and don’t let me be the first to remind you that you are no longer in office…

easily accessible hallucinigens

Easy..sleep – Well, more specifically the lack of.   Next time I drive to the UK, I will give you a call to do it for me…mmmkthanks

ironic exercise

I don’t know where to start with this really.   I suppose we could be falling into a desperate Head and Shoulders type advert where the answer to the statement “But, you don’t have dandruff!” is always “Exactly!”.   I can’t think of any reason for exercise to be ironic.   The superfit need exercise to stay superfit.   I suppose, if you were being particularly harsh…if I were to exercise it could be considered pointless…and therefore slightly ironic.   That said, maybe you should be searching for “ironic, meaning of”

car of the cock

Well, this is very easy…it seems to vary from series to series of Top Gear, but I can categorically say it is Aldi….or BMW, but probably Audi…maybe.   Screw it, just watch Top Gear and discover it yourself.

wood blewit allergic reaction

The only thing that springs to mind here is someone performing sexual acts of an oral nature on Pinnochio…I’m sorry, I apologise unreservedly….but there you go.   Also, don’t judge me…you thought the same.

“public transport\” upskirt pictures panty

Seriously?!?   And you followed a link to MY blog for this??   There are no words…Ok, I will admit using a similar phrase in one of my old posts, but still.

meaning of   “white socks and black shoes”

Well, if she was here when I was writing this, I would definitely pass this one over to CW…as she has some very specific and derogatory comments about such people…as she does about white socks with almost any kind of foot attire…and women wearing tights, and a shirt (and nothing else).   I’ll skip this one methinks.

god told me i would be ok

And yet you felt the need to search for confirmation on the hallowed pages of Google and then my blog.   Whilst I am grateful for the implied compliment, that I am somehow channeling Gods divine will of general OK’ness…it’s just not true and I am unable to offer you the confirmation that you so clearly desire.

we had to stand in front of him and raise our skirts

Either the beginning of a flashback sequence in a very bad porn film, or you should consider giving this information to a therapist…either way…the blog is called The Laughing Wolf!

when a person say i’am a wolf

Well, unbelievably bad grammar aside, I have one word for you….Gillette.   It is indeed “The Best A Man Can Get”.   If you are covered from head to foot in hair, take a bath in veet.   Either that or you are just hairy and fugly.   Hugly if you will….

who me?

Yes you…why are you surprised.   Let’s face it, you are the kind of person that googles for “who me?” when, and I am just guessing here, noone has actually asked you something.

There you have it, another episode of call-in-a-blog is over..tune in again in a couple of days for the awe-inspiring topic of “Why I keep eating fleischkaese rolls for lunch”

Which might happen….hopefully not.

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