…or at least it was.
A couple of weeks ago was the birthday celebration of CWs mum. As you would expect, celebrations were planned and guests invited. Nothing unusual there…something to look forward to in fact. However, about 6 weeks before the big day…we are over at CWs Mum and Dads place..enjoying a peaceful coffee and smoke outside when SW hits us with the following:
“So…what are we going to do for your Mums birthday?”
I immediately think “shared present..cool”. This feeling of coolness is replaced quite rapidly when I realise what he means.
You see, and I guess you can be forgiven for not knowing, they have a family tradition of putting on a show for the Birthday Boy/Girl (delete as appropriate). Not long after CW and I got together, I was invited to SWs birthday bonanza and paid witness to a rather large scale puppet show that everyone put on for SW, based around a childrens story called “Doctor Know-it-all”.
I was pretty blown away to tell the truth, a lot of work had clearly gone into the stage, puppets and everything. Everyone had a great time and SW even got presented with a Dr Know-it-all T-Shirt as a memento.
I had been told of a previous show that was setup like the dressing room of an opera or stage show…and how all of the cast were interacting while they were getting ready for their parts. Again, quite a big thing by all accounts.
Basically, this is a tradition that shows no sign of petering out as many do…and so, SW was asking what we intended to put on for CWs Mum. Oh yes…that’s right..what WE intended.
Now, some of you know me and others don’t…those that know me fairly well might be surprised to discover that I am incurably shy and incapable of any kind of public performance when all eyes are on me. Others would call me a liar and point out the teams I have run and presentations I have delivered at work…and they would be right, well sort of.
Work = Money = Need. So I have managed to overcome the deep rooted terror that strikes me whenever I have to do any kind of public speaking…when necessary to my daily needs.
This doesn’t equate to any kind of survival based necessity, so I was somewhat panicked.
It was decided that we would put on a TV Talent show, in a Britains Got Talent stylee. We came up with ideas, met every weekend from the decision to the actual show and practised, practised, practised.
I essentially became the technician and critic for everyone and was very happy with this particular role….until the matter of judges was brought up and I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I would need to be a judge. Not only that, I would be wearing a mask of HRH The Queen of England. Nice one..I insisted that I would not speak..especially as my German is shocking and the audience would struggle to understand English. I would, however, create some sound effects that would work for me.
So that was that…there were 3 judges (including me), 5 acts and a final big happy birthday song number. We had intro music, an advert break, judges buzzers, incidental music, sound effects, props and about 25 guests to perform in front of. SW went out and bought a professional amp and speakers setup…I made use of a laptop, a monitor and a mixer.
Quite the production really.
Judges: SW as Darth Vader, Me as the Queen of England and the Brother as Dieter Bohlen (think Germanys answer to Simon Cowell…without the humour)
CW was a Michael Jackson dance impersonator who decided to use a broom to dance with and could barely get back up after almost performing some form of splits move
Ickle Sister 1 had a singing fish..and a lot of attitude (not many people have their fish spit water all over Darth Vader)
Judges: CW as Darth Vader, Me as the Queen of England and Ickle Sister 1 as Dieter Bohlen
Ickle Sister 2 played the Vuvuzela…spilled a load of stuff out of it…got angry and smashed the Vuvuzela into pieces…then ran away screaming when the Police sirens were blaring
The Brother was the ultimate performer who, when buzzed off for being…well…crap at Breakdancing, managed to get a 2nd chance and sang acapella for the Queen….she was not amused….nor was Ickle Sister 2, who was refused a 2nd chance.
SW was (and may now forever be) Moni..a drag act, who forgot to shave and got very excitable when reaching the end of her/his song
Everyone came together to sing a song made famous by a Frankfurt comedy duo.
For me, the highlight of the evening has to be watching CWs Grandad fistpumping and generally rocking out to the final song..that and being told by a very drunk The Brother, that I am a pussy for not drinking…this was when he noticed I hadn’t been drinking all night (at around 2am).
I will be putting it all together as a DVD gift for CWs Mum, so I will inevitably share some of it on here when it is finished