Monkeys DO Learn
Sam walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, he swallows that, too.
The bartender screams at Sam, "Did you see what your monkey just did?
Sam says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Sam. "He eats everything in sight. Sorry. I'll pay for cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later Sam's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While Sam is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies Sam.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Sam. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first!