mmmm Lobster Balls
A would-be shoplifter in London attempted to steal two lobsters. The ingenious felon stuffed the lobsters into his trousers and headed for the door of the supermarket.
Near the exit, our larcenous Londoner doubled over in excruciating pain and lay on the floor screaming.
It seems that the lobster's claws were not tied down and one of the tasty crustaceans decided to have the thief's family jewels for lunch. The paramedics were called in to remove the carnivorous crustacean from the very sensitive portion of this thief's anatomy.
After they stopped laughing, a pair of pliers successfully accomplished the removal much to the relief of our suffering suspect.
No information was available on the extent of the member's (sic) injuries or his future fatherhood potential.