Man Utd Virii
Everybody please watch out for the following viruses ....
The Manchester United Virus
This is where your PC thinks its far superior than any other PC and develops
a memory disorder, forgetting anything that happened before 1993.
The David Beckam Virus
This affects newer PC's mainly. The computer looks great, all the lights are
on, but nothing works.
The Roy Keane Virus
This one is particularly nasty and will throw you out of Windows ...
The Alex Ferguson Virus
The computer develops a continuous whining noise and the on screen clock runs
a lot faster or slower (depending on how your days been), than all the other
computers in the building.
The Andy Cole Virus
The computer is unable to get anything in the "inbox".
The Fabien Barthez Virus
This one's not particularly harmful - but you just can't save anything.
The Neville Bros. Virus
Just when you think things can't get any worse, this one pops up and causes
a calamitous error.
The Ryan Giggs Virus
The computer develops a processor problem, whereby it thinks it's better than
it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuation in performance.
The Luke Chadwick Virus
This is a particularly ugly one.
The Manchester United Shirt Virus
This one is especially hard to detect as it changes it's format every 3 months!
Sent in by Pete Miles