Ch ch ch ch changes….

Give up smoking!So, I sit here – 3 days into the whole not smoking thing, a week into the exercise thing and the same into the diet thing.

Jesus wept.   Pretty tough if I am honest.   I don’t know if I built up some immunity to Zyban from when I took it years ago, or if I was right and I should have taken it for 2 weeks before giving up smoking, not a week…but this is taking more force of will than I anticipated.   The diet and exercise thing is going ok, but the not smoking is almost killing me.

Then, I have my first working day without the smokes….and I think I wanted to kill the world today at some point.   I can be quite intimidating at the best of times, but with the nicotine DTs….I dread to think – Therefore I think I am over-compensating with niceness.   That said, today was pretty stressful and I had little patience to deal with incompetence….and my desperate attempts to use caffiene in place of nicotine were doomed to fail, especially as I normally go for a coffee and a smoke.

My own over reactions were tempered by me legging it out of the office before some form of career limiting explosion took place.   I of course mean my own career, not me curtailing someone elses…although that could have happened too I suppose….

I have told my kids that I have stopped though, so I don’t want to head back to England for my visit at the end of the month, only to have to tell them I failed…   So there you go, my entire motivation for getting fit and healthy…my kids.

I am sat here like a recovering heroin addict though – It is almost funny, I have this kind of nervous energy.   Oh yeah, additionally…I am determined to stop chewing my nails… imagine the joy I am having right now if you will….then pity me.

Or don’t…I chose this path and I intend to see it through.   I think I have only felt worse than this one time in my life, and that was when I tried to give up coffee a while back…..I am never trying that again.   Plus, with the amount I drink, I have a genuine fear of falling into an exceptionally long sleep….

I promise I am working on some decent posts, but I honestly can’t focus on them right now…   Hopefully tomorrow will make it a bit easier and I can get something sorted :-)

I would go an have a beer…..but I have stopped drinking too


Thought I would leave you with this great anti-smoking advert….

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