Jesus wept. Pretty tough if I am honest. I don’t know if I built up some immunity to Zyban from when I took it years ago, or if I was right and I should have taken it for 2 weeks before giving up smoking, not a week…but this is taking more force of will than I anticipated. The diet and exercise thing is going ok, but the not smoking is almost killing me.
Then, I have my first working day without the smokes….and I think I wanted to kill the world today at some point. I can be quite intimidating at the best of times, but with the nicotine DTs….I dread to think – Therefore I think I am over-compensating with niceness. That said, today was pretty stressful and I had little patience to deal with incompetence….and my desperate attempts to use caffiene in place of nicotine were doomed to fail, especially as I normally go for a coffee and a smoke.
My own over reactions were tempered by me legging it out of the office before some form of career limiting explosion took place. I of course mean my own career, not me curtailing someone elses…although that could have happened too I suppose….
I have told my kids that I have stopped though, so I don’t want to head back to England for my visit at the end of the month, only to have to tell them I failed… So there you go, my entire motivation for getting fit and healthy…my kids.
I am sat here like a recovering heroin addict though – It is almost funny, I have this kind of nervous energy. Oh yeah, additionally…I am determined to stop chewing my nails…..so imagine the joy I am having right now if you will….then pity me.
Or don’t…I chose this path and I intend to see it through. I think I have only felt worse than this one time in my life, and that was when I tried to give up coffee a while back…..I am never trying that again. Plus, with the amount I drink, I have a genuine fear of falling into an exceptionally long sleep….
I promise I am working on some decent posts, but I honestly can’t focus on them right now… Hopefully tomorrow will make it a bit easier and I can get something sorted :-)
I would go an have a beer…..but I have stopped drinking too
Thought I would leave you with this great anti-smoking advert….