I couldn't have guessed

Donner Kebab, Cologne, GermanyNow let me just say, I am all for surveys and research to be carried out if it is for something important, useful or even surprising if the subject matter is interesting enough..but this??? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7852168.stm

For those of you that don’t want/can’t be arsed to follow another link, let me summise.   Research was undertaken, no doubt at the tax payers expense, to provide us with the knowledge that kebabs..that staple of all drunken hunger cravings…are, wait for it, BAD FOR YOU.

Oh my god, why did noone mention this before.   Maybe this is where I have been going wrong over the years.   Will they commission another study to warn us of the risks of walking in front of cars travelling above 40 mph?   What about the dangers of eating a bucket of lard a day, washed down with a litre of syrup?   I heard a nasty rumour that having your head cut off is really painful and possibly terminal…I wonder if 76 councils could look into it for me to be sure?

That’s right, it took officers from 76 councils, over 450 samplings to draw this conclusion.   Is it just me or does that just sound like they went on a huge bender over christmas and thought…how can we stick this on expenses?

Apparently some contained different meat to what was advertised…MEAT – I am impressed they can even call it that…I have seen them arrive, wrapped in blue cellophane wrap with “Medical Waste” stamped on the side.   I swear I saw a watch and a pair of trainers once.   This isn’t meat and frankly it isn’t supposed to, you should only attempt to eat a British Kebab when wrecked to the point of not being able to stand…where the fat that drips off this “meat” will congeal and act as a binding agent in an effort to stop yourself from throwing up…which you inevitably will as they taste like crap.   Why do you think so many people smother them in ridiculously hot sauce…it’s not for the added taste, it is your mind generating a natural defence mechanism and trying to mask what is laughingly referred to as the “taste” with something that will cause you to lose all sensation in your mouth and allow your alcohol addled mind to think it is pleasant.

Fortunately, I live in Germany and we don’t have kebabs out here, we get kebaps…and they at least have the appearance of meat…and the sauces actually add to the taste.   Also, it is perfectly acceptable to eat one without the need for alcohol.   That said, I am pretty sure I won’t using them as part of a calorie controlled diet.

What surprised you this week?

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