Ok, so this isn’t going to be a real review…I am not honestly sure that I have one within me anyway. That said, I went to watch “Watchmen” the other day with CW and frankly I was underwhelmed.
Firstly, it felt like about 4 films rolled into one with very little flow..very disjointed. Secondly, it was fast approaching an hour too long. Thirdly, it wasn’t anywhere near as dark as the comics and finally, if you are a being made entirely of energy (or whatever…and I am speaking to Mr Manhattan here for the uninitiated)….you would give yourself a decent sized schlong surely. You would possibly even consider being Super Schlong, with the super power of “Sperm Tsunami(tm)”, none of this teleporting and scattering everyones newspapers around nonsense. Ok, so he could grow himself to 200 feet tall, but that has limited benefits in a sexual situation….and let’s face it, most people want superpowers for just that reason. I did like his ability to clone himself though, it would certainly stop all that “trying to find someone suitable for a threesome” rubbish too…although if he could clone her, that would be especially useful…
That said, some of the action scenes were really good…the trouble was that they were over in seconds and there were not enough of them…and they were generally cut with stylised nonsense that distracted from the action going on. I can honestly say that I felt like leaving on no less than 6 occasions during the film and that has only ever happened to me once before.
As I said before, I almost walked out in the middle of Event Horizon, a piece of AliensWannabe nonsense that only kept me in the cinema because it was raining outside and I had a ticket to another film immediately afterwards. I can pretty much sit through any shite, even if I don’t particularly enjoy the film. Don’t get me wrong, I will try anything to avoid chick flicks and anything with Pauly Shore, but if cornered and the goggle box goes on…I will sit through it until it is over. At home I have only ever turned off 2 films… Natural Born Killers and Signs. Never in my life have I seen a more pointless film than Natural Born Killers…and I watched Rony and Michelles High School Reunion FFS. The least said about Signs the better…I wanted to put some silver foil on my own head and hide from “Them”..you know the “Them” that chose to release this insufferable piece of shit.
So with all that in mind, I think I will head out and see “The Pink Panther 2” or “Confessions of a Shopoholic”…I should be safe with those at least :-)
Seen any disappointing films recently?